How do I get my child to give up their pacifier?

Set a date together in advance, let the child do the handing over themselves, and mark it as an achievement rather than a loss. Participation and warning make it far easier than removing it unannounced.

What is the pacifier fairy?

A modern folk custom in which a fairy collects the handed-over pacifier overnight, often passing it on to new babies, and leaves recognition behind. It exists under many names, and in some countries takes the form of a tree in a park where pacifiers are tied.

What if they ask for it back?

Expect it, and say so beforehand. Acknowledge that it is hard and that they are allowed to be sad, without reversing the decision — the sadness passes far quicker than the sense of having been overruled.

Pacifier Fairy Letter — Giving Up the Binky

The story

She collects handed-over things: pacifiers, bottles, the crib rail, the nightlight that finally was not needed. She only ever comes on a night the child has agreed to in advance — she will not take anything by surprise, and she has been very firm about that for as long as anyone has known of her. What she leaves is usually small. What she takes is not.

Where it actually comes from

This is folk practice rather than old folklore, and it has grown up in the last few decades across many countries under many names — the Binky Fairy, the Paci Fairy, the Soother Fairy, and in parts of Europe the custom of tying pacifiers to a particular tree in a park, where hundreds hang as a public record of children who have handed theirs over. What every version shares is the same structure: the child gives it up themselves, on a known date, and receives recognition rather than a replacement.

What it does for a child

Pediatric and dental guidance generally encourages moving on from a pacifier in the toddler years, and the method matters as much as the timing. Removal that the child participates in, on a date they knew about, is consistently easier than removal done to them — it preserves their sense of agency at exactly the moment it is under strain. Naming in advance that the first night may be hard is the other half: a child who was warned and then finds it hard feels prepared, while a child who was promised it would be fine feels deceived.

The Tree of Little Ribbons

A story to read aloud · about 4 minutes

In Denmark, in a big green park in the city of Copenhagen, there is a very old tree. It has stood there for a very long time, through hundreds of snowy winters and hundreds of sunny summers. And if you look up into its branches, you will see something wonderful.

The tree is covered in pacifiers.

There are red ones and blue ones, pink ones and green ones, and see-through ones that sparkle when the sun shines through them. Each one hangs from a ribbon, and when the wind blows, they all sway together like tiny bells. This is the pacifier tree, and it belongs to the Big-Kid Fairy.

The Big-Kid Fairy is a small, cheerful fairy who knows something very important. She knows that a pacifier is a good friend. It helps a baby feel calm when the world is loud. It helps a baby fall asleep when the night is long. Babies love their pacifiers, and that is just as it should be.

But the Big-Kid Fairy also knows that one day, every baby starts to grow into a big kid. Big kids have lots of new ways to feel calm. They can take a deep breath, like blowing up a balloon. They can hug a soft toy or a warm blanket. They can sing a song to themselves, or count the stars, or tell someone how they feel, using all the new words they know.

When a child is ready, they bring their pacifier to a pacifier tree. They tie it to a branch with a ribbon, sometimes a bright ribbon they chose all by themselves. Then they say goodbye.

Once there was a boy named Anders who loved his green pacifier very much. When it was time, he stood under the tree for a long while and held it tight.

“Will it be lonely up there?” he asked.

That night, while Anders slept, the Big-Kid Fairy flew to the branch where the green pacifier hung. She tied its ribbon in a neat bow and settled it right beside a blue one and a yellow one. “You did a good job,” she told it. “You helped Anders through a lot of long nights. Now you can rest here with your friends, and swing in the breeze, and watch the park.”

Then she flew to Anders’ window. She did not wake him. She only touched his forehead, very lightly, and left behind a warm, brave feeling that would be there when he woke up.

The next night, Anders felt a little wobbly at bedtime. He missed his pacifier. But then he remembered the tree, and the ribbon, and the breeze. He took a big balloon breath, hugged his bear, and whispered, “I’m a big kid now.”

And do you know what? He fell asleep.

The pacifier tree still stands in the park in Copenhagen, and there are other pacifier trees all across Denmark. Every one of them is looked after by the Big-Kid Fairy. She keeps each pacifier safe and each ribbon tied, and every time a new one appears, she claps her small hands and says the same thing:

“Another big kid. Oh, how wonderful. How very, very wonderful.”

An original Keepers story, grounded in recorded folk custom.